Monday, July 29, 2013

Dr. Reza Aslan: Scholar of Religions, Husband, Probably has a Favorite Color, and Muslim.

One of those attributes in the title qualifies him to write a scholarly book about Jesus. None of them disqualifies him.

You've perhaps seen the firestorm of controversy regarding the treatment of scholar of religions Reza Aslan in an interview on Foxnews about his book Zealot: The Life and Times of Jesus of Nazareth. He was challenged numerous times about why a Muslim would write a book about Jesus in the first place, to which Dr. Aslan counters that he wrote the book as an historian of religions, not as a Muslim.

Foxnews commentator John Dickerson states that "Aslan is not a trained historian. Like tens of thousands of us he has been formally educated in theology and New Testament Greek." Dickerson is certainly obscuring the critical issue here. One's PhD does not have to be in "History" specifically to "write as an historian." What Dr. Aslan means is that his book was a scholarly study of an historical person, namely, Jesus, and that he has the necessary credentials to do so. And indeed he does, if you consult his Wikipedia page.

I want to vigorously defend the principle that scholars can explore religious matters outside their own tradition. Indeed, the first academic article I published regarded a long standing controversy in Quranic Studies. 

Several Surahs of the Qur'an begin with collections of seemingly random letters, such as "Alif, Laam, Miim (الم)" and "Yaa, Seen (يس)." These so-called "Mystery Letters" of the Quran have prompted numerous explanations.

Despite being a Christian, I studied the matter because I found it interesting. While my PhD minor was Arabic language, I have no formal credentials in Quranic Studies specifically. So someone could just as easily attack my claim to write on such a matter as they are attacking the right of Dr. Aslan to write about Jesus.

My article "A New Investigation of the 'Mystery Letters' of the Quran," asserts that the letters preserve an early attempt to document the textual sources used to compile the Quran. (If you'd like to read it, you can download it from my Academia.edu page.)

My propsed solution to the controversy should be unacceptable to Muslims, who believe the Mystery Letters are part of the divinely revealed text of the Quran.  I've produced a scholarly work that contradicts a theological reception of the Quran. Even so, I've never received any complaint from a Muslim about my article and I've observed that my article is cited and quoted in scholarly books and articles about the Quran written by Muslims. They don't have to agree with me. But they've never dismissed me as being out of line to publish on the topic, such as Dr. Aslan has experienced.

Now, Dr. Aslan states that if all we knew about Jesus was that he was crucified, we could conclude that he was a "zealot" or a "revolutionary" viewed as dangerous to the State. He asserts that crucifixion was reserved only to insurrectionists such as the survivors of Spartacus' revolt

The texts of the Gospel do make it very clear that Jesus was crucified because of Roman concerns that he made claims to authority over that of Rome. But the assertion that crucifixion was only used for revolutionaries is a bit of an overreach. The story of the "Widow of Ephesus" in Petronius' Satyricon (111.5) describes latrones being crucified. Like the Spanish ladron, this simply means a thief or robber, not an insurrectionist. 

But I disagree with his claim because I can cite a counter text from a primary source. I don't dismiss his claim because he's a Muslim.  Sadly, Dr. Aslan is forced to argue past a barrage of ad hominem attacks before he can even begin to speak on the area of his expertise. You comported yourself with dignity in that interview, sir. Good luck in your continued scholarly pursuits.

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Welcome to Uzina Crossfit - Bucharest, Romania!

[Warning: Redshed Crossfit specific blog post. You're welcome to read it, but if you haven't drunk the Crossfit kool-aide, you might not enjoy the post.]

We're kicking ourselves that only a few days ago, a week before we fly home, we googled "Crossfit Romania" to see if maybe it has found its way here.


Adriana does KB's at Uzina
We find there's a box called "Uzina Crossfit Romania." Uzina means "plant" (as in a huge factory). Uzina is open for a structured one hour WOD, group warm-up, skills, and WOD four times a week.

Tonight we went and in spirit it was as if we walked into our beloved Crossfit home at the Redshed. 

Everyone in the room, more than a dozen athletes plus the two coaches, shook our hands and introduced themselves. 


They've got some very nice facilities, as you can see. The rubber floor will go down soon. While they wait for their weights to arrive (they're stuck in customs in a port on the Black Sea), they focus on what they can do in that place. Which is plenty. You've got all your body weight exercises, kettle bells, rings, and pull-up bars. 


Here's the WOD (Work Out of the Day). And just like the Redshed, I thought it didn't look so bad, until Adriana and I finished it dead last after all those kids! 

Perechi means "Pairs." This was a couple WOD, partition as desired, but only one partner works out at a time. 

And here's the whole group after the WOD. The man directly
in front of me is "Romanian Pat" (George). The woman at the far right with thumbs up is "Romanian Janine" (Didn't catch her name, will when we WOD again on Thursday). The guy in the white t-shirt I'm calling "Romanian Kieran" because he's a lot stronger than he looks. The guy with his shirt off is "Romanian Marc" because, well, if I looked like those guys, I'd always take my shirt off too.

Turns out, they run a deal where your first WOD there is free. Normal price is 10 lei per session (about 3 US dollars). I told the coach that we were so happy to have found the place that we insist on paying. She told me, that the free first WOD rule is absolute and she would not take my money. That's class.

Thank you so much, Uzina Crossfit, for making two Americans feel so at home. And that's what the spirit of Crossfit is all about. Looking forward to WODing with you all again on Thursday.

Friday, July 19, 2013

Would a Former NSA Agent turned Educator/Author really try to capitalize on the publicity surrounding Edward Snowden for Personal Gain?

He would. Because, after years of selling just random copies of my novels, I've come to the conclusion that I'm just too timid when it comes to self-promotion.  

So here I go. And I'm going all in. (And I don't like this, this isn't me.)

Greetings, I'm Keith Massey, former Arabic linguist at the National Security Agency. If you hate the NSA, please don't hold that against me. I went to work there after 9/11 with patriotic intentions because people with my linguistic skills were needed.

I worked at the NSA from 2002 to 2006, during which time I earned the Global War on Terrorism Civilian Service Medal for service performed in Iraq in 2004.

I left the Agency in 2006 to become a public high school teacher, but also because I wanted to pursue my original life's dream of being a novelist.

Which brings us to today. There will never be a better time
for me to ride this media frenzy about Edward Snowden toward possible financial gain.

I mean, I'm sitting in Romania and even here I daily see Edward Snowden's image on the TV with a discussion of NSA activities. From a publicity standpoint, it's all too good to be true.

Don't hate me. I need to make money, just like you.

So I've launched my publicity campaign in earnest. Toward that end, I'm giving you one of my novels free on Kindle through July 22.

But, I'm going to be completely honest with you. You deserve nothing less.  I'm giving you this novel for free out of the hope that you will then actually purchase other novels I wrote. You see, if no one ever buys my novels, I don't get any money! (I can't believe I just begged perfect strangers to buy my books. Forgive me, people.)
The one I'm giving you for free is actually the second in a series of novels following Dr. Andrew Valquist, an academic who goes to work at the NSA. (Write what you know.)




Amor Vincit Omnia: an Andrew Valquist Adventure is the story of Dr. Valquist's early days at the NSA. It picks up the saga immediately after the action of the novel A Place of Brightness.

One reviewer in the US gave it 5 stars and wrote, "
Solidly likeable protagonist with good supporting cast of characters. Quick but thoroughly enjoyable read; will read more related books, I think! "  Another 5 star US review says, "It is an interesting and exciting read; the kind of book you can't put down but then you are sorry when you get to the last page and you crave more."

One reviewer in the UK gave it 4 stars, saying that it was "an enjoyable read, with enough twists and turns to keep the plot going and maintain the reader's interest."

But she said she was annoyed by the fact that I advertise my other books within this novel. I fully understand this criticism. But I did this for the simple fact that I need people to buy the other books so I can make some money! (Well, asking for money didn't feel so bad that time. I mean, I did work very hard on these books.)

Her other criticism (despite giving it 4 stars) is that she felt the main character was sent on his first mission  "whisked away with no proper training, forewarning or mission information."
 

She would not have actually felt he was so untrained if she had first read the novel A Place of Brightness, in which she would have learned that Andrew Valquist arrived at the NSA with considerable operational training for the mission he was sent on.

So, the solution is simple. Read all my novels. You're getting one free, so look at it as if they're all kind of on discount. (I'm getting the hang of this "selling myself" stuff.)

Here they are, in the order you should read them.
Links to the titles take you to a page where you can learn more details, read excerpts, and then, of course, purchase the books on Kindle or Paperback. 

A Place of Brightness begins the saga. This is the story of a Romanian family who belong to an anti-Communist insurgency during the Cold War. It takes you from 1962 until 2004, when Andrew and Stefan Valquist, sons of one of the insurgents, visit Romania and are pulled into international intrigue.

 


Amor Vincit Omnia: an Andrew Valquist Adventure
describes a young man entering service at the National Security Agency, only to find himself already on a clandestine mission on his second day! Remember, this is the one you can get free on Kindle through July 22! 

Next Stop: Spanish is a unique novel in which a young man needs to learn how to speak that language and will do so in the course of the story. He gets help from his uncle Andrew Valquist, only to—you guessed it—be pulled into international intrigue.

In Saecula Saeculorum is set in 2012, when Andrew
Valquist is retired from the NSA and is headmaster at a Classical Academy. Or is he actually under deep cover for an Ultra Secret Mission? Four young people at the school don't know it, but they've actually just been trained for a joint NSA/MI-6 mission to back in time to save the world.




But wait, as long as I have you here, there are other ways you can put money in my pocket that I'd love to tell you about. (I'm just downright shameless at this point!)

You can take one of my online courses hosted at Udemy.com


I have two courses you can explore. As you can see to the right of this post that I offer my courses on a "Pay What You Will" scale, from 29.00 down to free, your choice, no strings attached.

Click on the links to watch a promo video in which, I admit, I will try to talk you into subscribing. So watch the promo videos. If I don't succeed in talking you into taking the course, I do thank you for your time and attention.

Fortune Favors the Brave: Ancient Lessons for Modern Success. You've heard the saying, "Those who don't know history are doomed to repeat it." But history is not just a series of disasters to avoid. In this course I recount examples from ancient history worth knowing and how they can be applied to achieving whatever you define as success today.

The Massey Method: Learn Spanish from a Former NSA Agent. This is a vocabulary based learning program in which I share a list of vocabulary I developed over the years to focus on all the words you really should have mastered before you continue to more advanced levels of the language.


Wait, there's yet a final way you can help fund me so I don't have to work full time anymore!

If you visit the pages where I describe my novels, you'll see that the novels are accompanied by cheesy merchandise themed to each novel. So after you've read the novels, you can get t-shirts and the like to both continue your enjoyment of my novels and also, as an added bonus, give me more money!

But I have other a lot of other products available on my Zazzle Store, such as shirts with Latin quotes and also my famous "Iguanodon Likes This" product line, that should have made me a million dollars all on its own but somehow hasn't (yet).

Thursday, July 18, 2013

Brothers by Different Mothers: the Keith Massey / Todd Lasance Comparison Fully Analyzed

A former colleague of mine from the National Security Agency (NSA), who still works there as an Arabic linguist, wrote me with the most extraordinary of compliments over a recent post I made regarding a possible Julius Caesar spinoff from Spartacus on Starz.

My post had a pic of Australian actor Todd Lasance, who played Julius Caesar. And visible on the screen was also my own pic. She wrote:

"Wait a second, that guy looks just like you!"

And I realized, how right she is!

Let's compare Mr. Lasance and myself, further analyzing our other shocking similarities.




1) We're both devastatingly handsome.

2) We both part our hair to the right.

3) We're both obviously ripped.

4) I teach Latin; Mr. Lasance played the role of Julius Caesar, who spoke Latin.

So, I press forward, trying to break out as a writer of "espionage/adventure/action/romance" themed novels. And I wish you great success, Mr. Lasance, in your career. Our paths will certainly cross at some point. I think you would be perfect for the role of Andrew Valquist, the chief protagonist in my spy novels.

If you've stumbled on this post because you searched for "keith massey latin" or "keith massey devastatingly handsome" or "todd lasance", make sure you explore all of my products--novels and Udemy courses--before you leave (after bookmarking my blog, of course).

But while I have you here, can someone please tell me why I didn't make a million dollars on my "Iguanodon Likes This" product line?

Wait, one more thing, then you can go. Why the hell didn't this video of me filming black bears in my backyard go viral. Seriously?




Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Julius Caesar Spinoff from Spartacus?



We're still waiting for definitive word on whether the Starz Network will be spinning off a show about Julius Caesar from Spartacus. 

The casting of Todd Lasance was brilliant. He could certainly pull off a whole series. And the story of Julius Caesar is packed full of adventurous episodes that could easily make three or four seasons of programming.

 

I include a discussion of Julius Caesar in my
 online Udemy course Fortune Favors the Brave. Visit my website for more details.


Julius Caesar is the epitome of Fortuna (Fortune) because he knew that a certain element of luck always exists in life. But Caesar also knew that taking a proactive approach to life would help you increase your chances at success, even though randomness may play an part.


A knowledge of the importance of Fortune/Luck is why, as he was about to cross the Rubicon River, he said the famous words Alea Iacta Est (The Die is Cast). He used a gambling term because, even though life is a game where others may plan unfairly, you can't win if you don't play.




________________________________________________________________


https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0984343202/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0984343202&linkCode=as2&tag=keitmassintea-20&linkId=e2482f1d9c605f501d250199e68bc01dIf you are moved by stories of heroes fighting against oppressive tyranny, check out the novel A Place of Brightness, the first installment of the Andrew Valquist Saga


You'll share the triumphs and trials of a family of freedom fighters all the way from Cold War Romania down to the present day.

________________________________________________________________



Tuesday, July 16, 2013

A Former NSA Agent Speaks to Edward Snowden...


I've not written yet on this blog regarding Edward Snowden. I served as an Arabic linguist at the National Security Agency from June 2002 until July 2006, during which time I also spent three months in Iraq. I am proud to have received the Global War on Terrorism Civilian Service Medal for my service there.

So, I know a lot about the NSA. And I'll say this. I know more about it than you, Mr. Snowden. Because I know a lot more about the actual mission of the NSA than you'll ever know. 

I worked it. I felt my heart exploding out of my chest on a daily basis as I processed Intelligence that implied life and death to people all around the world. You didn't read those reports. And of course you didn't steal them. They would not have supported what you are trying to do.

It's a dangerous world out there, Mr. Snowden. You wouldn't actually know about any of that because you were a Techie. Notice, I'm not saying you were "just" a Techie. Techies kept people like me, Arabic linguists processing Counter-Terrorism information, in business on a daily basis.

But the Techies I worked with were well aware that the NSA exists not to maintain a massive computer system as an end in and of itself. And it certainly doesn't exist to spy on Americans. It exists to provide United States policy makers, such as the President, with the best available intelligence to maintain National Security. Period.

And those Techies knew that it was people like me who were actually doing that critical work. And they served humbly and seriously in that capacity, grateful for the chance to serve their Nation in that important capacity. Again, hats off to you guys and gals at Tech. I obviously could never have done my job without your expertise.

You knew computer systems, Mr. Snowden, but you didn't actually understand the classified documents you stole. They described the apparent fact that the United States conducts electronic surveillance. And it's completely legal. And it's heavily supervised by Congress. The fact that the NSA does this is even readily available on the NSA.gov website. The exact details of how the NSA does it is classified, for obvious reasons. And you leaked details of that which have caused some damage. But the most delicious irony of all would come when you then fled into exile.

Where'd you go? Hong Kong (read, China). Have you ever tried to conduct a Google Search from China, Mr. Snowden? Don't try, you can't.

And from there, you go to Russia.

I don't actually have much negative to say about Russia over all this. Putin has stated that Snowden can have asylum in Russia only if he stops "harming our American partners."

But why do you think Russia is not lauding your treachery, Mr. Snowden? It's because Russia knows that they do the exact same things as the NSA. And they also know that you have provided them with a bargaining chip they never expected to get. They know that a Russian Snowden will step out some day. And you've now guaranteed that the United States will be forced to reciprocate their cooperation with us. They'll probably grant you temporary asylum. But they have already made it clear that they are not on your side. While you are on their soil, you should feel very uncomfortable.

So what have you actually accomplished, Mr. Snowden? You've informed the world about something astute people already knew. Every government in the world conducts electronic espionage.

This is not about Liberal and Conservative. I worked beside people at the NSA who were far more Liberal than myself. Since I've left, they've gone on to vote for Obama, complaining that they wished he weren't such a "moderate."

But they believe in the mission they work. They are Patriots, Conservative and Liberals alike there, who know that they work to provide our policy makers with crucial Intelligence for our National Security.

Your heart was likely exploding out of your chest the day you walked out of classified space with a thumb-drive full of stolen secrets.

My heart was exploding out of my chest as I ran from mortar fire in Iraq. I volunteered to serve in that danger because I love my country. 

And so, Mr. Snowden, I implore you even now to do the right thing. Do no more harm to your Country. It's the greatest country in the world. It really is. And among all the countries that do electronic surveillance (by which I mean, all the countries in the world), we have nothing to be ashamed of regarding oversight of our programs for their legality.

My fellow United States Citizens, you have nothing to be worried about regarding the activities of the Intelligence Agencies. Not only do they respect your rights, but they've got your back. Don't hate them because we happen to be the best at this stuff. After all, we're the United States of America.

Friday, July 12, 2013

General Lee At Gettysburg: an Object Permanence Error

One of the long standing mysteries in Military History is why exactly General Lee, who beat the North in battle after battle, made errors at Gettysburg which resulted in the North's first major victory and, arguably, the turning point of the entire war.

New research suggests that the decisions he made at key points in the battle were based primarily on what he could see. And what he could see was, as a result of the terrain, not enough of the true picture to arrive at the conclusion that he was outnumbered and would lose this exchange.

A group of mapping experts have produced an interactive site that lets you see exactly what people on the ground actually could see as the battle proceeded:

http://www.smithsonianmag.com/history-archaeology/A-Cutting-Edge-Second-Look-at-the-Battle-of-Gettysburg.html

What Lee Saw
What it comes down to is that
What Lee Actually Faced
what General Lee saw  was actually just a portion of the Northern Forces. What he thought was the whole was in fact just one flank. He should have imagined the possibility that what he saw was only a portion of a much larger configuration.


Here's me standing at the place where Colonel Joshua Chamberlain of the 20th Maine saved the Union by holding Little Round Top. May God grant rest to all the men of both sides who gave their lives fighting in those fateful days.

 



Thursday, July 11, 2013

CIA Secret Prison in Bucharest: Downtown? Not So Much...

The existence of a secret CIA prison in Bucharest back in the mid-2000's, although still officially denied by Romania and the United States, is basically old news. It housed such infamous inmates as none other than 911 Mastermind Khalid Sheikh Muhammed

It's become suddenly today new news again with the quirky detail that the CIA allowed Muhammed, an engineer by education, to design a vacuum cleaner. The CIA approved him being given resources to work on this project simply as a way to occupy his mind and help him not lose it after the "enhanced interrogations" he had experienced. 

I know where this place was. It's a northern suburb I never go to, rather, just go through on my way to points north. 

Having relearned of this prison, I've noticed that several websites seem to focus on the fact that this prison was actually in the capital city of Bucharest, as opposed to being in some remote army base in the countryside. If you Google "CIA prison downtown Bucharest" you'll find some that actually assert that the prison was located in downtown Bucharest. Others stress that the prison was "just minutes from downtown Bucharest."

Here are the pure facts. The prison is closer to being outside the city than in the downtown. Here is a Google map showing directions from the prison (A) to the theater (B) where I watch movies every week. 


As you can see, my theater truly is downtown. It's where Google puts the word "Bucharest." The prison is indeed in a residential neighborhood, but it was in the basement of a government building where people would come and go and the locals didn't know what went on in there.

And as for mere minutes from downtown, Google says it's 13 minutes. I don't think Google knows Bucharest traffic very well. I'm sure that's 13 minutes at 3am. At 3pm, it's going to take a bit more time.

The prison was reportedly closed in 2006, the inmates shipped to Guantanamo. It is, however, interesting for me to now learn that in the numerous times I visited this city from 2004-2006, Khalid Sheikh Muhammed was in the same city as me. And whenever we took a train from Gara de Nord, we were within a mile of that prison.

The Normalcy Bias: Why Asiana Passengers Stopped to Get Their Luggage

The web is erupting with outrage at images of passengers from the crashed Asiana Flight 214 carrying luggage they took off that plane while in the midst of an emergency evacuation.  The passengers report that they don't believe the time they took to get their luggage impeded anyone's escape. They report they did this because they were feeling an eerie calm and just did what you normally do, you get your bags and then leave the plane.

It's almost certainly true that everyone on that plane would
have been off that plane more quickly if absolutely no one had stopped for luggage. But the fact that so many passengers did slow down the evacuation has important implications for how we should train ourselves and airline personnel to deal with emergencies.

First off, before I seem to be judging anyone too harshly, I acted incorrectly myself while in an emergency. On two occasions when I was in Iraq, mortar attacks targeted the base where I was. And, despite having been trained in what I was supposed to do in the event of an emergency, I acted incorrectly both times. 

The first time, I actually saw a mortar shell spinning end over end before landing outside our perimeter wall and exploding. And then I saw another. And then they stopped. And then, and only then, did I suddenly tell myself I needed to run for
cover. The second time, while the booms of mortars were deafening to my ears, I stopped to lock my door before running to a blast resistant building. The time I spent locking that door could have been my end, this despite the fact that I had been told quite clearly that I don't lock the door in an emergency.

But the reason I locked the door is the same reason those passengers got their bags. It's what I always did when I left that little building. We had all fallen victim to what is known as the Normalcy Bias. In short, you've never been a crisis before. Therefore, you probably aren't in one now. So you continue to act business as usual. 

The chances that the passengers on Asiana Flight 214 will ever again be in a plane crash are the same as yours and mine--virtually zero. It's been pointed out that you have a greater chance of dying because the roof on the supermarket collapses on you than you do of being in a plane crash.

Imagine if every time you entered a store, you had to listen to a three minute safety speech about what to do in the unlikely event of a roof collapse. We would consider this a ludicrous waste of our time. Most people would just accept that, in the unlikely event of a roof collapse, we're all going to just deal with it best we can.

I'm suggesting that, in light of the likelihood that the Normalcy Bias will make the majority of passengers behave incorrectly in an emergency evacuation, airlines devote energy into disaster planning that accounts for this, plans for it even. Passengers took their luggage because they saw other passengers doing it. Flight attendants should be aggressively disallowing any luggage being carried, telling passengers to just drop it back onto their seats and leave the plane. If passengers see that no one is taking luggage, no one else will take it. Maybe they tried to do this and the people ignored or resisted them. But it is a protocol to consider. But, at the same time, none of those flight attendants had ever been in an emergency before either. And, by all accounts, they reacted admirably in the face of the crisis.

Finally, however, it would seen the Normalcy Bias can be counted on to prevent the most serious potential problem of a mass evacuation--a stampede. Even if people in an emergency do stupid things like lock the door or take their rolling luggage, they seem to calmly move to the exits. 

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

The Lone Ranger: The Critics are Wrong...

I'm in Romania for the summer, but my local theater shows the most current movies, just a week after they are released in the United States.


This week, ending tomorrow, they're showing Disney's The Lone Ranger.

Look, I've read the reviews. One says it's nothing but 2.5 hours of air conditioning. Another describes it as complicated but ultimately satisfactory. But most narrative on this film seems to delight in Disney's failing and possible financial loss on the movie.

I walked into the theater today with a completely open mind. First off, I am always very interested in being entertained. If there's fun to be had, I'm not going to shun it because some reviewer said it wasn't there.

That said, Disney's The Lone Ranger was not all that bad. By which I mean, it wasn't at all as bad as the bad reviews say it was. It wasn't a perfect movie. But I enjoyed the experience quite a lot.  There were gripping action sequences. The chemistry between Hammer and Depp was genuine. The cinematography was simply stunning. There were also large laughs. Anyone interested in being entertained without a pre-conceived agenda to the contrary should succeed. 

I fear this movie was judged against an unfair standard from the start. Most Superhero movies quickly tell how the Superhero became a Superhero and then let us watch him do his work. This movie instead tells a heartfelt story of two men
working through some staggering losses in their lives. The triumphant "Lone Ranger" theme will not come until the very end. When it does, it's glorious all the more because of all we saw the men work through.

I am disappointed that the poor reception of the movie will probably preclude any chance of this duo appearing in a sequel. I should very much have liked to see them ride together again.

Monday, July 8, 2013

Cheers to the Years!

Back in the United States (I write this during my usual Summer in Romania), when we want to drink a beer that celebrates our history, there is no finer choice than a Samuel Adams Lager.

Samuel Adams was a second cousin to our second president, he was a patriot, a statesman, and, yes, he reportedly did make beer.

But the Samuel Adams brand of beer is not made by a company descended
from the efforts of that founding father. It was founded in 1984 by Jim Koch et al. That said, even though I follow the Paleo Diet, when I do go out and want to drink a beer, I always order a Sam Adams.

So, it was with considerable surprise today that I sat in a restaurant in Romania, sipping on a wine from the Recaş (pronounced Recash) Company. I then spied a sign for the brand:

Cramele Recaş - Atestat din 1447
The Recaş Wineries - Attested from 1447

Now, what this really means is that there is a document dated to November 11, 1447 that attests that the Recaş Wineries were purchased and continued in operation under a new management. They had apparently been in operation even before that. 

Even as I write this, I am sipping some more Recaş Wine. It's nice stuff. And it comes from a company that has been attested to be making wine for at least 566 years.

And so, I raise my glass, first to our American Founding Fathers. You brought forth on a new continent something much greater that fine wine. You brought Liberty and a New World Order.

Next, I raise my glass to all you have labored in the fine tradition of wine and beer making for millennia. God bless you all.


Saturday, July 6, 2013

More Fun With Lexical Borrowings!

As I relax here in Romania, I like to work on casually expanding my vocabulary by watching the news headlines on the television. My wife is a native speaker with excellent English, so if I ever see anything I don't know, I don't have to reach for my dictionary.

A year ago this time there was a curious political maneuver in which opponents of President Traian Băsescu managed temporarily to suspend his presidency pending a referendum on his performance. The news was running a retrospective on this interesting time. Băsescu went on to win the referendum and he'll finish out his final term. 

The news just ran a headline about the interim president, Crin Antonescu:

Antonescu, Perdantul Puciului din 2012. 

And here I didn't know the two key words to understanding the phrase.

I ask my wife and she informs me that Perdantul means "The Loser," and that it was borrowed from French perdant. But she doesn't know what Puciului is herself! From the context, it would seem that it must mean something like "the loser of the fight." 

Then I realized, this was another borrowing. This is the German word putsch, meaning a sudden, invariably failed attempt at a coup.

Now, from the moment they started their coup, Băsescu's opponents were outraged at the media treatment of the matter, which they felt was overwhelmingly against them and in favor of Băsescu. And it really was. It became very clear that they had all seriously underestimated just how popular and personable Băsescu had been to the press. And there were returning the favor by helping him out when he needed help the most.

I went back and saw that the press was using this term already last year to describe the opposition's action. There is no doubt that this word colors their attempted ouster of Băsescu as virtual fascism. After all, the most famous putsch of all is the Beer Hall Putsch, the Nazi's attempt in 1923 to seize power through violence in Munich.

While linguistically, fun, I doubt I'll commonly use these words!




Friday, July 5, 2013

The Saga of the Smuggled Meat...



My wife Adriana and I visit her native Romania every summer. We try to eat pretty strictly Paleo. But that is enormously difficult in Romania because the meat here is simply horrible. First off, you probably heard in the news about the controversy wherein Europe learned
what it thought was beef was actually at least half horse. That meat reportedly came from Romania. Now, I'm not actually opposed to eating horse, just so long as it's fresh and clean and I know what I'm getting. But you can understand that a place where what is marketed as beef is anything but is just not a reliable place to truly enjoy meat.

What meat you do see in stores you can just tell is shot full of chemicals and hormones, not to mention hygienic standards that saw that meat from slaughter to the plate.

This year, however, we conceived a risky endeavor. What if we attempted to smuggle excellent organic meat from the United States to Romania? 

Here was the plan. We would put into our checked luggage a quantity of frozen meat and hope that it would still be there when we arrived in Romania.

I tried to look online as to whether this was really prohibited. I couldn't find clear directives regarding Europe-bound travel. But it is very prohibited if you are going from Europe to the United States.

We decided to go for it. One bag received eight pounds of a combination of packs of ground bison and organic grass-fed ground beef. (That luscious stuff simply doesn't exist in Romania.)  I formed it into a cube to reduce surface area and then put it in a plastic bag. Then it went in an insulation bag, which I pulled tightly around the block with duct tape. The other bag received a similar eight pound block of beef and bison, but additionally ten pounds of organic chicken breast. Same treatment with the insulated bag. 

Both blocks were put back in the freezer, which I then set to the lowest possible temperature setting, 14 below zero.

We didn't take them out of the freezer until we went out the door to head for the airport.

The clock starts ticking: 1:00PM Eastern Time, Monday, July 1.

We were scheduled to take off at 5:30PM and arrive in Copenhagen for a connection that would leave for Bucharest, Romania at 8:10AM local time. We would arrive in Bucharest at Noonish and be putting that meat in the freezer an hour later. If everything went according to plan, that meat would spend 16 hours out of refrigeration. We were confident that, between the deep freeze, the insulated bags, and the fact that checked bags fly in a pretty cold cargo hold, the meat would still be at least cold when we unpacked it.

But things did not go as planned.

We arrived in Copenhagen and saw on the board that our flight to Bucharest did not yet have an assigned gate. We waited and waited. We were getting nervous when we still saw no gate a half an hour before we were supposed to board. And then, the electronic board changed.

Copenhagen - Bucharest: Cancelled.

WTF?????

We ask around and find out that we need to go to the Transfer Center to receive further information about
rebooking, etc. But my first thought was, that meat is officially in jeopardy. Luckily for us, all the signs in the Copenhagen Airport are in both Danish and English. So you can see to the left that we had no trouble finding the Transfer Center and our Gate.


I'm also pleased to report that we had no trouble finding the Assistance Center. Again, the inclusion of English on the sign was key to our success.


It was all very civilized. We took a ticket and waited our turn. We heard other Romanians similarly grounded around us. Our turn finally came. A very helpful woman informed us that the best she could do for us was to book us on a flight to Brussels at 3PM, with a follow-on flight to Bucharest, Romania that would arrive at 10:30PM. I immediately did the math. By the time we could get that meat to the freezer it would be out for 28 hours. I sighed. There's no way that meat's surviving outside the freezer that long. But that's no longer something we can control. The Airline was very kind and gave us a generous food voucher for the airport to get a meal before our continued flight. 

3PM finally rolled around. We were working on little sleep at this point. I can personally never sleep on planes. We fly to Brussels. I'd never been there before. At least I can add Belgium to the list of countries I've visited.

We had another long wait in that airport. We found a nice airport bar to relax at. We drank a few glasses of red wine. Our follow-on flight was finally ready to board. What a long day this had turned into. 

At 10:30PM local time, Tuesday July 2, we land in Romania. We're Zombies at this point. We're waiting for luggage that we fear now holds rancid meat. We wait and we wait. And the luggage carousel stops. Our luggage did not come with us. Priceless.

Adriana goes and fills out the necessary paperwork. She learns that our luggage didn't get put on our flight. It would fly to Romania the following day. And then be delivered to us by taxi--on Thursday morning.

We both just laughed at that point. I mean, pity the poor taxi driver who has to spend time with luggage that will certainly be smelling like a garbage dump. 

The following day comes and goes. We get a call in the evening from the airline that our luggage is indeed at the airport in Bucharest but it would not be delivered to us until the following morning. 

Thursday morning comes. We get the call that the driver has arrived. We take the luggage from him and head back up to our apartment. Adriana suggested that we just plug our noses and throw the meat bags down the garbage chute without even bringing them into our apartment. I suggested that we just carefully open them in our apartment to see what the damages are, ready to hurl them out depending on what we find there.

The meat had been out of refrigeration for 63 hours.

We open the suitcase with the smaller amount of meat. We can see the wrapped insulated bag in the middle of the clothes. I pick the thing up as if it were plutonium and set it on the kitchen table. I carefully tear away the tape and open the bag. We're both bracing ourselves to gag as I slide the meat out of the insulated bag.

And strangely, I feel quite cool meat come out of that bag. It wasn't exactly cold. But it was truly quite cool. Not a little cool. Quite cool. We examine the meat. These single pound hermetically sealed packs of meat were just fine. No air bubbles, no discoloration. We put them in the freezer.

On to the larger block. We open it and see blood all over the inside of the bag. But this one was actually still officially cold. One pound pack of ground bison had clearly somehow opened. It had air inside the package and no blood around the meat. We threw that one away. All the rest of the beef, bison, and chicken breast were still quite cold and hermetically sealed. We rinsed the blood off everything and put them in the freezer.


Against all odds, our meat had survived. All we can figure is that the combination of deep freezing, insulated bags, and the cold storage areas meant that the meat arrived to us still fine, but in the final hours of being fine. 

If our connection had actually happened, that meat would have still been frozen when we arrived in Romania. If the luggage had come with us, it would have still been largely frozen and quite cold. And, it turns out, 63 hours after we took it out of the freezer, that meat was still fine.

I ate a burger from that meat yesterday to celebrate the Fourth of July. Here's a Chili I made with it this evening.

Between various social engagements we know we will attend and evenings to cook at home, we have enough excellent organic meat to survive until the end of July, when we will return to the United States.

God Bless America. God Bless Us All.

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